FUCK YOU MARC SUMMERS!

One thing I picked up from the others during my days on the Crag (see FIG 2), was an intense and completely baseless hatred of Marc Summers (see FIG 3), the popular game show host we all remember from Double Dare.  I still don't know why I hate him, but I do remember as I slowly reached the top of the Crag, thinking only of removing his face with a large knife, and wearing it.  Thoughts of hosting Double Dare, wearing the face of Marc Summers kept me alive those last few nights.  I could picture myself, watching children slip around on slime filled slides, as they compete to win the grand prize, never knowing that I was actually an imposter just wearing their beloved hero's face, while the real Marc Summers was lying lifeless and faceless in a dumpster behind the studio.

Its been over twenty years since my experience on the Crag, and I had all but forgotten my hatred for Marc Summers, until one night while I was watching television, and I came across a show called "Win Tuition."  As I was about to flip to the next channel, I saw him.  Suddenly, I felt a familiar anger shoot through my entire body, and I couldn't help but to watch the show, and watch his face.  Question after question was incorrectly answered by the contestants, and Marc Summers showed no remorse.  He appeared to enjoy the fact that he was ruining the futures of the young contestants, by denying them the tuition money he held.  By the final round, I was on the floor in front of the television, with my hand against the screen, against his face.  My mind then escaped into a familiar daydream of meeting Marc Summers behind the stage, ten minutes before show time.  I asked him a few typical fan questions, and as he turned away, I pulled a knife from my pocket, and removed his face.  I discarded his body and returned back to the stage area, where the show was just beginning.  But wait, this wasn't the same show....  this wasn't double dare... it was WIN TUITION.  I went out on stage and was thrown back by the roar of the audience... I was him again!  I began the show, and question after question, I denied the contestants their tuition... I could barely hold in the joy I felt from ruining these kid's lives... I knew then exactly how it felt to not just look like, but to actually be *THE* Marc Summers.  My mind drifted back to the real word, just as Marc was finishing the final round... I was lying on the floor naked, and in a cold sweat, with my hands on my face... the only thing I could do was scream.....

                                   "FUCK YOU MARC SUMMERS!!!!"

FIG. 1   "The Enemy"

FIG. 2  "The Crag"